The woman sat in the therapy session as her therapist asked gently, “What do you remember about play as a child?” She paused, the words caught in her throat as tears welled up in her eyes. It was hard to remember. Play felt distant, tucked away with other childhood memories she hadn’t accessed in years. The therapist leaned forward with kindness and asked, “What was your bedroom like?”
The woman’s eyes softened, and a faint smile appeared. The perceived narrative she had locked in her memory was how her room perfectly neat, organized, with toys carefully placed in the cupboard and a pristinely made bed. But her most joyous memories didn’t come from that well-kept room. Instead, they came from moments of creativity: writing plays, creating stories with accompanying music, and using one hand to play melodies on the piano while she scribbled down the lyrics with the other.
Her cousins would be the eager cast, and together they would present shows to anyone who would listen. She was in her element then—free, imaginative, and vibrant. Yet, even as she delighted in those playful moments, she learned that to gain approval, she had to be “the good girl,” well-behaved and composed. Gradually, the plays and music were set aside, and she became more attuned to fitting in than standing out. The joyful expressions of her dreams were replaced by silent rehearsals in her mind, tucked away like the toys in her childhood room.
Reconnecting with Your True Self
As we grow up, life’s responsibilities, expectations, and roles often pull us away from our truest selves. We can get lost in the noise, burying the vibrant, playful, and bold parts of who we are. But there is always a way back—a way to reconnect with the dreams that once made us feel alive, joyful, and whole.
Think back to your first memory of pure joy as a child. Maybe it was dancing freely, playing dress-up, writing stories, or singing at the top of your lungs. Close your eyes and let that moment flood back. How did it feel? Was there a sense of ease, fun, and complete connection to your authentic self? The beauty of this memory is that it holds a truth about you that is timeless.
Rediscovering Your Authentic Self
Your authentic self is the part of you that exists beneath the layers of social expectations, family rules, and the stories you’ve told yourself over the years. It’s the voice that whispers when no one else is listening, the dreams that persist even when life feels overwhelming.
Reconnecting with your authentic self requires honesty, vulnerability, and a willingness to explore. It means listening to the whispers of your heart and embracing your desires, even if they seem too big or too bold.
Exploring the Photo that Lights You Up
When I work with clients, one of the most powerful exercises we do is uncovering a favourite childhood photo—one where they felt free, joyous, and deeply connected to themselves. This simple image holds a wealth of meaning. As we explore the story behind it, we discover clues about what truly lights them up.
The photo often serves as a gateway to uncovering the experiences, feelings, and dreams that made them feel alive. It’s not just about the memory itself, but about reconnecting with the essence of who they were in that moment—untouched by limitations, rules, or expectations. This process can be transformative, revealing hidden keys to rediscovering joy, playfulness, and authenticity in their lives today.
Questions to Ask Yourself
When you find yourself unsure of who you are, here are some questions to help you reconnect:
- What did I love doing as a child?
- When was the last time I felt truly joyful, playful, or creative?
- If there were no expectations or limits, what would I pursue right now?
- What am I naturally drawn to, even if it feels outside my comfort zone?
- What do I secretly dream about, even if I haven’t told anyone?
These questions are invitations to gently peel back the layers and rediscover what truly lights you up.
Strategies to Reconnect with Your Inner Child
To rediscover that little girl and her dreams, try these strategies:
- Play Like No One is Watching: Re-engage with playfulness—paint, dance, or sing. Allow yourself to be messy and imperfect.
- Creative Journaling: Write about your childhood dreams and what you felt. Let your pen flow freely, and don’t hold back your thoughts or emotions.
- Act it Out: Just like the little girl who acted out her dreams in her head, physically act out your dreams in a safe space—whether that’s singing in the shower, performing in front of a mirror, or pretending to be on a stage.
- Connect with Your Senses: Recreate the sensory experiences that brought you joy as a child—whether it’s walking barefoot on grass, smelling freshly baked cookies, or feeling the sun on your face.
- Create a Vision Board: Cut out images, words, and symbols that resonate with the dreams you had as a child and display them where you can see them daily.
Moving Forward with Your Big Dreams
Once you begin to rediscover that inner child, it’s time to start taking steps toward living out those big dreams:
- Take Small, Brave Steps: Start small—enrol in a dance class, sing in a choir, or audition for a local theatre. Give yourself permission to pursue joy without the pressure of perfection.
- Reframe Your Story: Instead of viewing your past as a series of limitations, see it as a foundation for your growth. The lessons you’ve learned are stepping stones, not roadblocks.
- Find Your Cheerleaders: Surround yourself with people who encourage and believe in your dreams. Connect with those who support you in embracing who you truly are.
- Set Intentions, Not Just Goals: Focus on how you want to feel and who you want to become, rather than just what you want to achieve.
- Celebrate Every Win: Acknowledge and celebrate each small victory along the way. It’s the little steps that add up to big changes.
Conclusion
The journey of reconnecting with your inner child and rediscovering your big dreams is not just about pursuing ambitions; it’s about reclaiming the joy, ease, and fun of being your authentic self. Remember that little girl sitting quietly in her room, daring to dream beyond her surroundings. She’s still there, waiting for you to unlock the door and let her play again. Let her voice be heard, and let her dreams unfold—because they’re not just big dreams; they’re your dreams.